100 Sirius and Remus Moments
by PookietoyourMaureen
Summary: Ever wondered why Remus and Sirius were so close? It wasn't just because they were the last two alive to fight for good. 100 of their closest, most amusing moments. There are a few serious sprinkles...Mmm...these would make a delicious sundae...
1. Moment: Guessing

**_So, my first Harry Potter--not Pooter--fanfiction! Well, sort of. They're more of just...creative explosions.  
Anyways, I did add a character, but she fits. So yeah....  
Enjoy!_**

**_Read, Review, and R-love!_**

=]

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Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus

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"Sirius! Sirius! Guess what!"

"You've decided to take me up on my offer to enslave the human race and have them destroy the world in order to recreate it in my sexy image, then take over ruling the slaves so I can be your meek, gorgeous queen?  
Remus stood there, mouthing the words 'meek gorgeous queen'.

"Moony! I thought that was _our_ plan!" James said, staring at Remus.

"REMY! HOW COULD YOU CHEAT ON ME WITH JAMES? HE'S NOT EVEN MEEK!"

"Neither are you!"

"Sure I am! I'm meek, and humble, and pretty, and--WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?"

"Meek..."

"Humble..."

"Pretty..."

"My boyfriend _is_pretty!" Remus glared at Wormtail.

"Aw, Loopy," Sirius said, scooching over to him, and nearly sitting on his lap. "Do you really think I'm preeetty?"

"Well, he's definately not dating you for your brains." James had to duck as Sirius dived at him.

As they wrestled on the ground, Moony turned, almost pleadingly, to Wormtail, and said desperately, "Guess what..."

"You've decided to let me into the prefects bathroom to catch Lily in the nude?" James and Sirius had stopped mid-fight, to look at Remus.

"You want to help me complete my list of the the places I haven't had sex?"

"You poisoned Snivellus?"

"It's your birthday and you want me to give you your present early? 'Cause if that's the case, you'll have to change into your birthday suit..."

"Did I come in at the wrong time?" Samantha watched them from the doorway, smirking. "Peter, you left your robes at home over the holidays again. Mum sent them with me to give to you." She handed the robes to him, while Sirius and James stared at her, practically drooling.

"Your sister is hot." James whispered to Wormtail.

"Yeah..." Sam laughed, as Remus smacked Sirius. "Remy! What was that for?"

"Will you honor me with a game of chess...er..._Remy_?" She asked.

He got up, and Sirius dived at him, "Noooo! I'll be good, I promise!"

"Geroff--No, Sirius, I'm seri--Ow! Don't...Geroff! Stop biting me!"


	2. Moment: Notebook

**_Okay, I admit this one isn't my favorite, but I did kinda write it while I was tired...  
Please read and review!_**

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Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus

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"There's a certain magic about a blank muggle notebook." Sirius said, caressing the cover. "What words will you write in it? What secret worlds are destined to sprawl across these lined pages? What doodles will you mark the margins with? What label shall be made on the cover when you apply quill to cover with pressure, and it dries accordingly? And what of the designs around the label? _What_of those loving symbols of boredoms past? How many pages will be filled? How can you not love the fragile mystery of the blankness? Yes, fragile. It take a single mark...a drop of ink! To ruin the mystery and _besmirch_ the_..._"

"How much caffeine did you say he had?" James whispered to Remus as they, Lily, and Wormtail stared at the ranting Sirius.

"There was an empty twenty-four pack of Coke when I got home." He whispered back as Sirius continued, ("...And the thirty-four lines on each page is simply heavenly, especially since...") "And _why_ did you give him the notebook."

"It reminded me of him because..."

"And!" Sirius said, with such an air of finality, James paused. "It's purple! Which is my favorite color in the whole wide world, which makes it even more amazing!" And then went off on a new thought about how you couldn't just _write_ in a notebook because...

"In my defense, I didn't know Sirius had even _seen_ a notebook before." James breathed.

"...With all those lines that keeps all the writing straight across the page. The writing which can possess a life of it's own to communicate--"

"Sirius," Lily interrupted, "Can I borrow your notebook for a moment?"

"Of course Lily. Just be careful for it's fragile mystery." Sirius said, cheerfully.

"Excellent. I needed something to write the grocery list on."

"NOOOOOOOOO!"


	3. Moment: Prefect

**_Soooo...This was typed on my friend's laptop, so the ending is kinda...well...not the greatest, but it's still okay. Hope y'all enjoy it. Thanks for all the reviews by the by. However, you sure deffinately leave more =] Especially since I need ideas for more Sirius/Remy moments. I have many planned--but 100 _is_ a lot after all, so you guys should leave me some ideas.  
Pie? Sundae?  
_**

**_Read and Review!!! _**

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Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus

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"James! James! Guess who's a prefect!" Remus burst in the train compartment, frantically looking around. "Where's James?"

"He went looking for Sam. Something about making Lily jealous."

"What?!" Wormtail looked at Sirius, his robes half-pulled on, then ran out of the compartment. Shouts of "James!" faded, but didn't die.

"What were you going to say?" Sirius pulled Remus further into the small space, and ran his hands over Remus' shoulder.

"You'll...you'll never believe who's the female prefect for Griffindor...Lily!"

"NO!"

"Sirius--What the--?"

"YOU'RE CHEATING ON ME WITH LILY? HOW COULD YOU?"

"Hey, uh..." James had walked in. "Either of you know why a half-naked Remus is running down the train looking for me?"

"JAMES! Oh...it's terrible..."

"Sirius..." Remus said, stepping towards him.

"Erm...On second thought, I don't want to know..."

"JAMES!" Sirius cried, again, practically falling on him. "REMY'S CHEATING ON ME!"

"Not this again..." Groaned James, "With who Sirius?"

"LILY!"

"_WHAT?!?_ REMUS WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

"Prongs, you're taking my side?" Sirius asked in awe.

"James..."

"LILY? YOU KNOW I'VE LIKED HER SINCE FIRST YEAR!"

"James, _Siri_--"

"REMUS J. LUPIN, YOU ARE THE LOWEST OF ALL--"

"JAMES! _SIRIUS_ WAS THE ONE WHO--"

"...AND YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE THE DECENCY TO ADMIT--"

"ADMIT WHAT? THAT MY BOYFRIEND OVER-REACTS TO EVERYTHING?"

"LILY IS NOT A BOY! HOW DARE YOU...Wait...." A look of realization dawn on his face. "Sirius...how exactly did you find out about this?"

"REMY TOLD ME!" Sirius wailed, sobbing into his hands.

"And what exactly did he say?"

"THAT SHE WAS THE OTHER PREFECT!"

"SIRIUS YOU SON OF A BITCH, YOU HAD ME WORRIED!" James tackled Sirius.

"No--James, get off him...Sirius, for god's sake stop _biting_ him....it's your own--Ow! No! Stop!"

"What the hell are you three doing? Actually, I suppose it kind of explains why my brother's running down the train halk-naked."

"What? No it doesn't, I swear!" James stood up. "I don't even know--"

"We told him..." Remus explained what Sirius had said.

"SIRIUS!" Both Sam and James yelled.


	4. Moment: Marriage

**_Hey everyone! Thanks to everyone who reveiwed (reviewed? Yeah, that's it) the prevous chapters. This one seems a bit awkward to me, because I was afraid to ruin it by adding anything except the list, so I might redo this chapter at some point. But for now--Grandly gestures towards the writing  
Along the line of changing chapters, the last chapter I got multiple comments on the ending, and how muched it sucked. I'm paraphrasing of course. =]  
The thing is, the original (better) ending was very similar to one of my earlier chapters, so I didn't end up using it. But I might rip it out and revise it, and put it in at a later time._**

**_Last note: This WAS supposed to be a huge posting weekend, but our home computer is down and I'm not sure if I'll be able to post anything else until it's fixed/we get a new one. Hopefully I'll be able update everything next weekend, but alas, not yet...._****_  
Anyways! Read! Rave! Review!_**

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Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus

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10 Fool Proof Ways To Ask Remus Lupin For Marriage:

1. Ice it on a chocolate cake.

2. Etch it on a giant chocolate bar.

3. Rewrite and sing Jame's song for Lily for Remus.

I.e. Your tall and fun and pretty  
Remus

4. Rewrite and sing Jame's song for Lily for Remus covered in chocolate.

5. With a giant chocolate shrimp covered in blue icing.

6. Make it rain chocolate.

7. Give him two chocolate penguins, because once penguins mate, they stay together for the rest of their lives.  
Or at least until they're eaten.

8. Hide an engagement ring in a truffle.

9. Give him a chocolate engagement ring.

10. Use any means of chocolate available.


	5. Moment: Ruling

**_Hey! Santiago, my computer, has been decidedly evil lately, and broke down! But we're up and running again, and I had tons of lovely reviews from everyone. It made me ubber happy! In fact, this is quickly becoming one of my favorite stories when it comes to reveiws. You're either really nice, or offering some good constructive critism.  
Which I'm not sure I spelled right.  
Oh well!  
I'm going to try to update again before the day's done, so click that button fast!  
(Alas, centering is not being kind, so I'm just not centering anything! Sorry!)_**

**_^Read^RAVE^Review^_****_  
_**

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Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus

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"Okay, new question. What will happen when you rule the world?" James leaned back in his seat, looking around the compartment. "Remus."

"When I rule the world," Remus said, dreamily staring up into space, "All of life's problems will be solved by chocolate." It took a moment for him to break out of his trance, wiping the drool from his mouth as the others roared with laughter. "Um....Sirius!" He said, blushing slightly.

Sirius leaned over, pressing Remus into the seat, and kissed him hungerly. "When I rule the world, I'll enslave the human race. But Remy gets to be my favorite little sex slave." He continued to smirk down at Remus, who was trying to stammer out his angery reply. The Sirius glanced up. "Oiy, you!"

"When I rule the world, I'll plant flowers."

All sound in the compartment stopped, as they stared at him. Sirius and James got up, and pushed him out of the compartment. His muffled protests made Remus and Wormtail share a look of concern. Once the pounding on the door had stopped, James rounded on Wormtail.

"_This_ is why we don't let Hufflepuffs sit with us."


	6. Moment: Black

_**Hey, hey!  
I know, I know. You all probably hate me, seeing as I haven't updated since....October?!? Holy crap! I'm sorry! Time a bijillion!  
That said, I assure you, a LOT more stuff is coming. Right now I'm working on getting my fanfiction account up to speed, I have a new email just for Fanfiction, plus I'm slowly making the bottom of my profile into a (working) update list, telling you some things I'm trying to do, plus (maybe) a rough date as to when to expect them. This one, I'm hoping to update** **at**_** least _once a week...However. I only have so many ideas. And 100 is a big number._**

**_This is a very subtle hint telling you to give me ideas. Even just a single word. So drop me a message, or reveiw!  
Plus, all song parodies on my profile are currently Harry Potter related, so check them out!_**

**_As always:  
Read. Review. Love. :)_**

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Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus & Sirius & Remus

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"Sir..."

"Can we ask you something?"

"Of course." Remus turned to the twins. They were alone in the kitchen of Number Twelve Grimmauld Place. He eyed them suspiciously. "This won't get me in trouble with your mother, will it?"

"'Course not! We were just wondering..." Fred said.

"If what the Americans say is true." George finished.

Remus laughed, "I don't know, Americans say a lot. What are you referring to?"

"Is it true that 'once you go Black, you never go back?" The twins said together.

Remus stared at them, then slowly, he started laughing.

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"But...but Loopy! We _have_ to mack in the Great Hall! That's why it's _great_!"

"Sirius," Remus muttered, "Shut it, you're embarrassing yourself!" Everyone at the Gryffindor table was staring, and quite a few people from other tables.

"I AM _NOT_ EMBARRASSING MYSELF! IF I WAS EMBARRASSING MYSELF, I'D FEEL EMBARRASSED!"

"Sirius--"

"Oiy! Lupin!" Slughorn came up behind Remus, and leaned in conspiratorially. "Is it true?"

"Is...what true...Sir?" Remus asked nervously.

"That once you go Black, you never go back."

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"It's true, boys. Believe me, it's true."


End file.
